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Hey kids, just say no to 'Twin Peaks' fan theories

Twin Peaks is back, baby — and it's fully prepared to mess with the head of any superfan who dares take it too seriously.

A quarter-century after David Lynch's cult hit was canceled in the wake of its uneven second season, the famously quirky director has relaunched it on Showtime. In a bizarre release schedule, four hour-long episodes arrived all at once Sunday — which, given that the plot barely advanced a few inches, really amounts to an anti-infodump.

SEE ALSO: Inside the haunting, too-surreal-for-words premiere of 'Twin Peaks'

There was a whole lot of mystery, though. And a whole lot of stuff that masqueraded as clues to that mystery: bizarre lines of backwards-spoken dialogue in the Red Room; the alternate dimension where FBI Agent Cooper (Kyle McLachlan) has apparently been trapped all this time; enigmatic pronouncements from the Log Lady; a weird translucent box that murders people; a tree with a pulsating brain.  Read more...

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